Sometimes I still see you even if you are no longer here

I still see you in your ratty clothes, a riot of kaleidoscope colors and the rattle of the beads of your necklace each time you toss your hair

I still see you wearing your length of skin, your soul radiating off you, floating in the
silver dashes of
a broken halo

I still see you where I can see only your face and the rest of you is nothing but a mass of light I cannot tear my eyes away from

They eventually disperse into fragments of nothingness and no matter how I try to build you back in my hands again, you disintergrate as though you were never real as though you were never here