if you've 20 seconds worth of an image of your waking dream,
the sort of life you wish you can lead but it only lasts for twenty seconds in your head
and no matter how your heart pushes you to imagine further, that's that much you know.

Some people see themselves being lauded, quoted.
Some people see their names in print and lights.

Mine is a lilac-blue sky, almost six in the morning, and I see a silhouette of myself through the stripes of binds, a cup of coffee with its steam migrating to be one with my cigarette smoke.

I'm not sure where I could have seen this scene before, but it feels like Lori Petty's character in one of my favourite movie, Point Break, where she has just awoken and only to find out Keanu Reeves is gone.

Another imagery I have is of walking down the business district on a Sunday morning, when the skies are still bruised and the traffic lights have no need to function, lights, ads, heels chopping into the tarmac, competition and energy- extinct for a day- just a day and its okay to just be and/or by myself.

I dream of day long breakfasts of black coffee and fried eggs, sourdough bread outlined brown by dextrin.

It's a little heartbreaking at the moment, because when we carve out a dream, 20 seconds isn't enough.

We spend more than half our lifetimes chasing down this image,
my own of smoke,
solitude,
purple skies
and leftover night air
recycling into mornings,

but how do we live through the 21st second and eventually if its possible?